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Pigeon Removal Services now offered by Holler Marketing…

Now I know we like to say we’re more than happy to go the extra mile for our clients, but we received a very strange request yesterday ….. removal of a dead pigeon!!

One of our long-established clients (a house sitter) has a phobia of birds and upon discovering a dead one in the living room couldn’t face removing it herself. So she turned to us and our MD charged round like a knight in shining armour.

She even wrote a poem all about it, which we found rather amusing – so we’ve decided to share it with you below:


I’m absolutely petrified
And in this I kid you not
I’ve recently ate dinner
And I nearly lost the lot.

I went into the sitting room
Where I found a feather lying
Then spots of blood upon the floor
Bugger me, is something dying?

I slowly turned, quite nonchalant
And as I turned I saw
The BIGGEST pigeon ever
Lying dead upon the floor.

Although I’m not the bravest soul
(And this you’ve probably heard)
I cope with mice quite often now
But I’ve a morbid fear of birds.

What can I do, I’m all alone
And the corpse is getting colder
I’ll be jacking in house-sitting soon,
Before I get much older.

Right, take a breath, relax a bit
Just think then take a look
And try to find a chivalrous male
Who’s listed in my book.

I came to ‘E’ for Edlin
Will he come to rescue me?
It’s a long shot, but it’s worth a try
‘Tho not connected to I.T.

Then sure enough that saintly man
Who probably thinks I’m mad
Says he’ll come along, in an hour or so
So that really won’t be bad.

Next time I change my website
I’ll say “I don’t do cats”
‘Cos with mice last week, and pigeons this
I’ve had enough of that.

So give me dogs please, any time
They’re a house-sitter’s best friend
I’m alright now, thanks for asking,
Although slightly round the bend!

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